I wish that I could keep up this journal right now.. but.. I am moving it to another host. It doesn't feel right to continue here when I hope to use this journal to chronicle a specific event in my life.

If you can, please follow me at blogspot.. I'll keep this journal up and try to update it AFTER the VISFI program.

Thank you for your support!!
http://unpluggingdesdemona.blogspot.com/

After spending a few fun-filled days in Christiansted it was time to break away and head into the rainforest.

Creque Dam Farm (it's pronounced "creaky") is amazing. Living in a truly diversified sustainable environment has been both eye opening and inspiring. It's only the end of the first full-day and I already am vibrating with excitement. Today we started out with simple getting to know you activities to introduce each other and our various backgrounds. Each of the instructors bring some interesting skills from agriculture, animal husbandry, to primitive survival. For the students, it seems that all of the men come from farming backgrounds. For example they have lived on farms or worked on farms at some point. All *4* of us women are a little older than the guys and are mostly looking for knowledge and education to make life changes. I wonder why that is. IMHO of the girls spend years doing what was right or expected of us while the guys were more encouraged to take their own paths.

I am going to break up my posts to different interest areas to make it easier to follow, but this is the basic atmosphere post.

Creque Dam Farm is a 200 acre farm in the rainforest near Frederiksted, St. Croix in the US Virgin Islands. It has been in the works for over 6 years and before that the land was used for horses and in the distant past, sugar cane production. The farm is built with the ideas of permaculture and sustainability. The water is produced through the well and roof gathering. The water system is run by a solar-powered pump as are all of the other electric systems.

I'm living in a cabana on the hill overlooking the rest of te farm. It's open air (with screens doors and walls). It's not entirely sealed off from bugs but the lizards are always hungry. It is surrounded by nothing but dark and the sounds of the forest at night. It is truly something to behold. 9 weeks in here.. There is more that I want to learn than I feel I will have time for.

Check my flickr page for photos! flickr.com/dez_n_val (I'm too lazy to write that in as a link, so if you have trouble write me and I'll make sure I have the addy right.)

Off to bed, big day tomorrow. I have many more entries to write.

7 days as of today. It's 8am on Saturday 1/3.. 8am on Saturday 1/10 I will get on that plane and start this next adventure. I have a lot to do to get ready, but the excitement, nerves, and determination are building.

Just a few more days..

One good piece of news is that we may have sorted out a roommate in New York.. I like living with friends and have had really great experiences with it. It also should make things a little more affordable. My friend Laura who I met on study abroad in Tokyo in 2001 is looking for a roommate. (^.-)

So much on my mind.

I am looking to re-re-restart this blog (maybe I should scrap it and move on, but I'm a sentimental sort). as I was looking through old entries it started to make sense why I am where I am right now..

back up.

three years ago I took the job with TV Asahi. it was a wonderful experience, i learned a lot, i traveled, i grew in some ways, but in many personal ways i did not progress. i didn't have time to myself to study, to ask myself the hard questions, or to make some new steps forward.

stifle your creativity and work to pay the bills, so this is where you end up:

- i quit my job in the name of new adventures.

- we are moving to new york city for val's work, i'll be arriving in the spring.

- i'm spending the next 3 months in St. Croix, USVI at VISFI (the Virgin Islands Sustainable Farm Institute).

have i gone off the deep end? No. it's just time to unplug, walk away from the multiple TVs, computers, and constant barrage of news and take back the things that i have given up.

new mindset. open to opportunities. interested. alive.

i don't want to complain about work all the time any more.

Wow. Time has passed.

When Val and I first got together, you, my LJ friends, really surprised me with your support and comments. Also... YOU WERE ALL RIGHT.

Thank you.


Thank you for your support. You were right, relationships based on things that matter do last.

How long has it been?

I feel like not much and everything at once has changed.

The holiday season began with another last minute trip to China that left me exhausted but back on this continent by Christmas Eve. My work has been covering the Six Party Talks on North Korea as a top priority, luckily the U.S. negotiator also had his Xmas plans on his mind and assured us frequently that he was going to be home in time. It's exciting to be at those international events.. trying to get the information, the details, the real story, something more than an administration regurgitation. It's been an interesting year and a half that I've been with TV Asahi. I definitely don't want to work in television forever, but, I do enjoy the pressure and the excitement of news gathering.

New years eve was one of the best in my memory. So many friends gathered at our little apartment to eat, drink, laugh, and then go dance! It was fun. Val and I finally got to really put those lessons to work.. what a great way to start the new year! I hope I can get some of those pictures up sometime. I found a great 1940s dress on a thrift store trip with my mother that fit the bill perfectly. I'm definitely looking for places that we can go out swing dancing that aren't all old people or total lamers.

After that things took a turn for the worse. I haven't written much about it because I didn't really know quite how to. On January 9th, my father was over for dinner to our little basement apartment off Logan circle. We were listening to music and laughing when suddenly the front door opened. All I see is the gun pointed at my father and the voice telling us to get on the floor. We guess that somehow it had inadvertently been left unlocked. It's not something you automatically think about when you are greeting your family for an evening meal and you are all sitting in by the front window. The audacity of the crime still astounds me. I will spare the details, but after a harrowing few minutes in which I held my breath as some useless waste of humanity threatened the lives of the two most important people in mine.. for what? For a few hundred dollars, our wallets, cellphones, credit cards, and my precious laptop? With a .9mm to my head I luckily couldn't properly recall my bank pin number, so he was unable to get any money from me. Not that the money mattered... it was our peace of mind, our home, our good memories there...

It was about two months before we were able to move. Luckily, like every good criminal, he was on a spree and we were number 4 in a string of 5 homes that were invaded, in the same neighborhood. So he was arrested and is awaiting trial. We were in the WashingtonPost, NPC news, and a lot of local coverage..but.. how is DC so lacking in local coverage that it takes 5 homes violated before anyone even takes notice. It's sad.

So, we tried to stand our ground. Stay in our home. Go on with our lives. But I couldn't. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't be home alone. I checked the locks every few minutes and would stare through the peep hole constantly. It wasn't worth it for me anymore.

It was the longest I've lived anywhere since the Monkey house.. which even then I left for a few months to go to Tokyo and then came back. It was HOME.

But, we found a new place that has really changed our lives. I love it! Living with our friends Derek and Sarah has been an excellent opportunity and our bright and beautiful home is such a change from the monotone basement. It's fun to be around people all the time, hopefully it will help me to conquer my current challenge: to hang out more... I want to see my friends while I still have them! :-)

So, I turn 27 next week... yikes!

We are planning our wedding.. third time is the charm, right? NO, not our third marriages.. We've gone through 3 different scenarios now because of budgeting conflicts and now the ultimate problem; losing our venue 6 months before the date. So, yeah... looks like we are going to St. Croix, VI. We wanted to be able to have a wedding with our families and friends, but, it looks like island vacation and then a picnic later is a better bet for us. We are working out how to invite less than 30 people to one of the most important moments in our lives. It's just not going to work for me to try to do this again in the DC area, this late in the game, with the other things between now and then.

This upcoming year: April/May - busy busy, June - Germany for the G8 conference, July-August - Peru, hike machu pichu, August - new hampshire for Val's best friend's wedding, end of August/September - our wedding!

So, that was my update. I'm sure it was fairly boring, but, I guess that's where i'm at right now!! I'm in better shape than I have been in years. I work 10+ hours every day, walk an hour to and from work, work out for an hour 5 days a week... So.. yeah.. while I may be not hanging out as much as I would like to.. it is because at the end of the day, I'M FREAKING TIRED!

So, that's where things stand.

So, how are you?! How as the first quarter of 2007 treated you?

I'm pooped.

Whirlwind trip left me wiped out and generally short-tempered. This first class ANA lounge in Tokyo's narita airport is helping.. mm. liquor is best when it's free before noon. The last week went like this; Monday night at 7:30 pm we decide to go with Secretary Rice to Asia. I work until 11:30 trying desperately to get shit set up. I manage to buy a new suitcase and pack in order to be back at work by 8am Tuesday, fly out at 11, 22 hours in tokyo, 23 hours in seoul, 27 3/4 hours in beijing, then back to tokyo for 14 hours of layover. tired. what day is it? what time is it? what just happened? it will all come clear with time..

imma just have a few more of these and let it unwind.

mmmm.

best things last, beijing bureau pulled some strings and got me a journalist visa to china in *1* hour. UNFUCKINGHEARDOF. So, i didn't have to spend the rest of my life or greater part of it in a chinese prison.

good stuff.

the last few days of ritz carlton hotels and too-rich-for-my-blood food has me feeling fat and complacent. mmm. it's nice to be differenet sometimes.

Rice's diplomatic security asked me to dinner in the elevator, excuse me? Can't you see i'm working here?! boys.

Do something worthwhile. There is one issue I am very passionate about, the issue of human rights in North Korea. Please support this amazing musical and the more important issue behind it.



Opening at theStrathmore Theatre in Bethesda.

YODUK STORY, is a musical about love, human rights, and the spirit of freedom. I have been hoping I would get the chance to see this musical since I heard the story of its inception. In order to finance the production the director put up his kidney's as collateral.

"Based on real events, the musical Yoduk Story embodies the despair and hopes of the North Korean people. This story of the condemned unfolds in the political prison camp of Division 15 in the city of Yoduk, North Hamkyung Province. In the hellish lives of these prisoners, we discover the dignity that their tears are not of sorrow, their cries are not of pain, but of forgiveness, love and hope. This truth is realized through song and dance in the musical Yoduk Story.

The hellish camp of infringement on human rights, that North Korean regime invented; 21st century Auschwitz turning the entire country into a concentration camp; the main purpose of the Musical "Yoduk Story" is to depict the living hell through showing Yoduk concentration camp in Hamgyeong Namdo. Additionally, we try to express that, beyond the ideologies and dictatorship, the human dignity is the greatest thing through bringing the will of love and peace, which brings out the human dignity in the end. The motivation of this musical lies on the faith that it will contribute to the democratization of North Korea. The whole world is now attempting to reveal the true state of human rights in North Korea. If North Korea has the nuclear weapons, South Korea is now ready to drop a cultural nuclear bomb, the musical "Yoduk Story"."

Go to the Yoduk Prison Musical Site

WiFi, my butt.

New York for a hot second last night was awesome. Amazing dinner at Veritas for close to nothing thanks to my 'lil bro. I can't think of a better way to spend a sudden business trip to NY than sitting at a bar drinking fabulous wine and eating amazing food thought up and brought out exactly as i would have ordered if they had been on the menu... and had i been able to afford any of them. twas amazing. i wish i was less broke to tip the nice waitress more :-/

Thank you for the great conversation, Laura. I always admire your open heart and awesome stories.

All in all, a good night. Except for having to check an overnight bag because i can't carry my toiletries on and then having them lose it and I didn't get it until 5am, which was when I had to be up to go to work. Yay. Nothing like sleeping in your lenses and yesterday's panties.

Yay.

It's wednesday.DAMMIT. I keep thinking it's wednesday.. it's only tuesday. KILL ME.

I wanted to post about this because it was fucking awesome. Last night I went to a food hacking party (www.foodhacking.com). It was awmazing. The food was incredible. It was a fun time even with the creepy dude trying to hit on me while I was there obviously with Val. Boys.

I need more fava bean and goat cheese creamed with kumquat smoked paprika glaze sauce... WOW. I don't know if I've EVER had a 9 course meal that challenged each of my senses and I got to see every spice and have a hand in every step of the production.

I'm still tasting chocolate tequila brownies with salted mango. mmmmmmmm.

i love food.

I look forward to whatever Val is sneaking around and doing at home while I'm here finishing up work.

BTW, international travel with work is awesome. If everything goes as expected I should get like a 4k bonus for my work over the week. That's insane.

From my myspace blog.. as i tend to write there more often and neglect my LJ.. it's a shame because the people i talk to on here i quite like and miss.

... I figured it was just about time for me to post a blog as I'm so hungover I can't think properly. Ahhh. It's much better than presenting coherant thoughts. White night is interesting.. my body can't adjust to 4 hours of darkness.. a beautiful sunset to a light dusk at midnight puts my bedtime back a bit.

My ramble on the G8.. So, yeah, Russia. Is it an industrialized nation on the level of the other G8 countries? no. I like it more than I did when I first arrived. The un-airconditioned chaos of St. Petersburg airport set my expectations for the management of the summit pretty low. I will give it to them, they put a lot of effort and money into the planning and execution of the event. However, you could not hide the definite reminders that we were roped off from the rest of the population. When we were able to sneak out of the bubble of chartered flights, hotel service, smiling embassy personnel and credential badges was the only time we were able to get the real feel of the city.

Now, everything had the element of Russia... the buffet of cabbage dishes, fishy fish, potatoes, and various little salads left me queasy and that paired with the hydrofoils to the island with the presidential palace didn't help that. Of course, the freeflowing alcohol may also be a bit ot blame. My favorite
"sasuga russia" moment was a going to one of the many snackbars to get a few drinks. I wasn't in the mood for a soda.. nor one of the many juices and salty-tasting waters. In the next case was some local beers that I can't read the name of but the unfiltered was quite good, but, it was only noon so probably not beer time yet. So, I moved down to the next case. It was stocked with bottles of vodka. Now, these were not individual size or any smaller than a full fifth. So, I grabbed one and a fanta and headed back to my desk. Maybe it wasn't too early after all.

There are definite signs of progress and development but, there is lacking the certain elements that you come to expect. A dependable and fair system of prices and human rights would be nice.

But a couple hours at a downtown stripclub and many of those vodka shots later, it all seemed perfectly normal.

So, yeah.. I feel like every time I post on here these days it's a "where i've been" email.

Where have i been this time? working. working some more. living in DC and debating if it's making me insane. not going out very much. trying to save money so i can leave this place. most of all, i've been preparing myself for that life change.. the good kind. i decided my apartment was in DESPERATE need of an overhaul, so I have been cleaning, buying new furniture, and rearranging EVERYTHING. i love that crap, so i'm enjoying it.

it's time to decorate my apartment. i've been there for how long now?

that's just about it. how have you been?

I'm going tonight... YAY for nostalgia!

ok.. i'm here..

sorry for being out of it. make_you_lush reminded me in his own way that I have not been around enough.

for that, i must apologize.

moreover.. I must apologize to Ted, Ryan, and Alan for not hanging out while I was in Japan.

Two reasons: I was sick and I was busy getting engaged.

weeee!

So, I was a little distracted. Can you forgive me?

HEY - I'm Coooooooooming!

Ok, here goes.. trip planning is falling into place, so, who is still in Japan? There are a few faces I would LOVE to see.

So far:
3/19 - Arrive Tokyo (and Yokohama) - who is around Saitama/Yoko/Tokyo anymore?
3/22 - To Osaka
3/23-24 - Nagoya!
3/25 - back to tokyo.
3/26 - back to DC!

I look forward to seeing you.....

I'm here.. back at work.. functioning somewhat below capacity, but, i'm not just staring into space. you gotta start somewhere.

thank you for all the support through this terrible experience.

i wish i had been more of a support to the wonderful person this world lost.. but i promise, i'm going to be better about it, from now. i have been a hermit, which is fine, but i have neglected many of my old friends, and, i don't want to do that anymore.

i'm here. now.. where to start?

I have been holding back from posting on here... holding back because i don't know what to say.

i ache.

someone i have known for 15 years... both intimately and socially.. the kind of person who can really communicate with anyone about anything... the kind of person this fucking world needs more of, not less.

i can't make sense.

it doesn't feel real.

you were one of the true friends i made in middle school.. the first "cool" guy i ever dated.. the first guy i gave in and hooked up with when we weren't dating in highschool.. the kid who introduced me to many.. things... the kid who begrudgingly took me to my first raves when we were too young to drive there--even though you thought it would be a bad idea for me to go.. you taught me about music, about dancing.. you were who you were no matter if it was socially acceptable or what people wanted you to be.. you were a friend.. you were someone i could always talk to.. you were my mentor in some aspects and my equal in others.. you spun records at my 18th birthday party.. now you will never play my wedding.. i will never hear you laugh again.. i will always remember your familiar smell.. i will never be able to give you the last presents i brought for you from japan.. i will never get to ride in the 86 again.. i will never see your name on my buddylist again... you will never come to another thanksgiving at my parents house.. another christmas.. another birthday party...

scott.. why did you leave us? did i really fail you as a friend so terribly that you could have nowhere to turn, nothing to hold on to, no one to entrust with your secret agony?

more than i want answers..

i just want to tell you, i'll always remember what we shared and i'll always love you.

"The hunt is on in the southern Chinese boomtown of Guangdong for a bespectacled North Korean with big hair and platform shoes."

Ah, it must be nice to be a supreme dictator.

***Ground Rules: The first player of this "game" starts with the topic "5 weird habits of yours" and people who get tagged need to write an LJ entry about their 5 quirky habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 5 people to be tagged and list their names.***

1. I have considered myself a vegetarian for 10 years, but, actually I voraciously consume venison. Because unlike most vegetabletarians I know, I actually don't think that animals are all that cute or innocent nor that the food chain is inherently wrong. I like the food chain, I just don't like factory farming.

2. I love food, but I'm totally neurotic about it. I hated that my parents never had any good food at their house so I would make friends with people who had better snacks. I went through periods of self-imposed starvation and overconsumption and have come full-circle to having the same damn snacks my parents did when i was growing up. Dammit!

3. I constantly check the time but can never remember what time it was last time I checked. If I had a friend sleeping over when I was a kid they told me many times that I would wake up in the middle of the night and ask them what time it was, not wait to find out before falling back asleep, and have no recolection of it in the morning.

4. I am convinced I have a brain tumor.

5. I get incredibly frustrated when being forced to pick restaurants for people.. to the point where I get migraines.

I don't think I have that many quirky habits (in my opinion). Everything I do is perfectly normal, maybe YOU'RE the freak.

--Tag--
azrielgw
makeyou_lush
sandswept
a8
bignastyted


--and--
phillytet
milpheyyu
crystalplumage
whatyoudontknow

"I know that some of my decisions have led to terrible loss – and not one of those decisions has been taken lightly. I know this war is controversial – yet being your President requires doing what I believe is right and accepting the consequences. And I have never been more certain that America’s actions in Iraq are essential to the security of our citizens, and will lay the foundation of peace for our children and grandchildren. "

Actually, i beg to differ.

as a representative government, is it not that you are supposed to carry out the will of the people, not what YOU believe is right? tell god to be quiet and stop telling what you do.